Negative Body Talk

Whether it’s in that dressing room with the horrible lighting, or when we catch a glimpse of our reflection in a store window, we’ve all had that little voice pop up and criticize some or all of our body shape or size. Even when we are working hard towards self-acceptance and appreciation, it’s normal for those negative thoughts about our body to pop up.

Think about how many messages you receive every single day from the media:

Tighten this

Tone that

Lift your breasts

Whittle your waist

Diminish your wrinkles

Grow your booty!!!!!!

How many times a day do you hear (or read) something like that? 5? 10? 20? 50? Now multiply that by 365 and then again by your age. That’s a big number huh??

If you have a lot of negative body image thoughts, know that this is not your fault and it is the fault of diet culture. We’ve been taught our ENTIRE LIVES that our bodies are flawed. We’ve been convinced by an industry that profits from these insecurities, selling us the solution to our made up problems. We don’t come out of the womb hating our thighs. We learn these messages. But the cool thing is, we can start to unlearn them and learn new more helpful ones.

So again, if those negative body thoughts pop up, it is NORMAL! But we want to do something about it right? Because hating our body definitely does not feel good. There are a few ways we can address negative body thoughts.

Photo by Luca Upper on Unsplash

Let Them Go

Often times we believe we are our thoughts. When we can start to observe our thoughts for what they are, it is easier to let them pass. It can be helpful to observe your thoughts as if they exist outside of your body. You can visualize them as separate from you by imaging your thoughts:

• drifting by overhead like clouds

• attached to a balloon and floating away

• floating by like a leaf in a stream

Observe Without Judgement

It can also be helpful to label different thoughts into categories. It is important to do this without judgement. You could label a thought saying:

• That's the future

• That's a judgment

• That's false

• That's the past

When we identify a thought in this way, we are able to let the thought exist without acting on it. It allows the thought to pass which will be replaced by a new thought. If the same thought pops back up, simply observe it again and let it pass. 

Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

Mindfulness

Another way to deal with thoughts is to bring your attention to the here-and-now. Rather than focusing on the thought, and potentially creating a storyline around it, try to ground yourself and stay present in the moment.  You can do this by bringing your attention to your different senses. See if you can notice:

• the sound of a ceiling fan

• the sight of a car passing by

• the scent of the room

This practice allows you to use your senses to bring you "out of your thoughts" and back into your body. 

Reframe Your Thoughts

We can use negative emotion as feedback. It’s almost our bodies “check engine light” to signal to us that something is going on under the hood (in your head). When we experience negative emotion there is usually a thought or belief that precedes it. What thought triggered that negative emotion? Ex. You may find yourself feeling ashamed or worthless. Perhaps you had just thought “I’ve gained so much weight. I’m such a failure”

Try reframing this thought to something that “feels” a bit better. “Dieting doesn’t work in the long run and is a set up for weight gain. I didn’t fail, the diet did. My body was trying to protect me. How can I honor it right now?”

Does that thought “feel better” than the first?

Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude and optimism is associated with decreased depression and anxiety in some populations and has been shown in studies to improve body image. In fact, one study looked at how a gratitude practice would “buffer the adverse effects of exposure to thin-ideal media” in 67 undergraduate females. “The conditions were specifically designed to isolate (a) the effects of viewing thin models on body dissatisfaction and (b) the moderating effect of grateful contemplation. Results showed that body dissatisfaction scores were lower for women who engaged in a brief period of grateful contemplation before viewing photographs of thin models than for women who reflected upon life hassles before viewing the same photographs. The magnitude of this decrease depended on BMI. Gratitude offers an innovative direction for future research directed toward helping women to accept their bodies.”

How can you show your body appreciation and gratitude? Ex. "I am grateful for my legs that help me get from place to place". "This amazing body carries me through life". "I'm thankful for the ability to see" etc.

Can you think of 3-4 things to be grateful for? Write them down! Create a gratitude journal! Spend some time daily reflecting on all the things you are grateful for about your body. Don’t limit your gratitude list to things just about your body though. Come up with other things in your life you are grateful for. Access to food? A roof over your head? Great friends? WRITE IT DOWN!

I hope this post gives you some actionable step to take the next time those pesky thoughts pop up. The more you practice reframing your thoughts, breaking down old beliefs and expressing gratitude, the easier it will be to let those negative thoughts go. For more support with your body image and your relationship with food, check out my 1-on-1 and self-guided programs.